PeasantMan Propaganda for NTPers
The NTP class of 2013 is registering today. It's time to take this new breed of triathletes to a place that they've never been to before. The CIA would lead you to believe that it's Saigon, but rational thinking men call it for what it is .... PeasantMan.
PeasantMan, aka Saigon of the west, is a dark place. A place where all parents want to send their children to get some common sense bitch slap into them. I would die a horrible death if I didn't crank up the PeasantMan propaganda machine and indoctrinate these new breed into the best damn triathlon that is not a triathlon on the planet. Every NTPers need to do this event. It's not only good for you, it's good for America. Don't be an America hater. Sign up for this low key, awesomely awesome event.
PeasantMan is not part of the NTP program nor is it part of DCTri. However, of the 300 registrants at the event last year, 95% were DCTri members. These include over 60 NTPers. For those NTPers who have issues counting above 60, that's 61! Every single volunteer at the event were either DCTri members or family/friends of DCTri members. Some refer to it as DCTri Woodstock. We call it PeasantMan weekend.
This event was founded by DCTri members. Its entire organizing committee is made up of dues paying members of DCTri. In the past, we've had former DCTri presidents (plural) and DCTri board members (plural) helping us with the planning and execution of the event. 2013 is no different in that regard. No one on the PeasantMan "staff" is paid a dime. 100% of the proceeds, minus expenses, are donated to charity. No one making PeasantMan happen profits a penny from it. We do it because we have a passion for the sport and want to give back to the community. Simply put, we do it because we love America ... and kittens and puppies.
Other than the Nations Triathlon, there is no single event out there, DCTri sponsored or otherwise, that has a higher number of DCTri folks. Unlike the Nations Triathlon where you are sharing the transition area with 4,000 other triathletes from all over the country, pretty much every face at PeasantMan is a DCTri face. You will know and recognize many of your fellow NTP classmates and other DCTri folks prancing around in spandex in a legal and non-judgmental environment.
Presumably the reason you joined DCTri or NTP is to meet and train with other people, perhaps even gain a sister wife/brother husband from the experience. There is no better place to do that than at the PeasantMan compound. You see, PeasantMan isn't a triathlon. It's life.
The event takes place at Lake Anna, Va on Sunday, May 5, 2013. It is a two hour drive from the DC area. Although the "race" is on Sunday, we have activities throughout the weekend. I would say that over 50% of the participants make the weekend out of it ala Triathlon Woodstock. They either camp on site or reserve a hotel nearby. Since the race starts a bit later (9:00 AM) than a traditional triathlon, many people do drive to the event on race day.
We have an open water swimming clinic, bike handling clinic, BBQ, and organized bike rides up to 112 miles on the day before the event. This attracts triathletes of all levels within DCTri. NTPers would use the day to learn and practice open water swimming on a course with buoys and kayak support. Veteran triathletes would use the day as a training day. We had over 30 DCTri folks training for Ironmans at the event last year. We had one dude loose a testicle last year when he crashed during the ride, but we won't mention any names so as to not humiliate him any further.
There are so many single women and men from the Ballston/Clarendon/Court House area at the event that it is sometimes refer to as hell. Some say it's a place where sinners go to have holy water sprinkled on them. We say, it's a place where we sell PeasantMan spring bottled water.
The distance of the event is Sprint and Olympic. You can choose to do either or you can choose to mix and match distances based on your comfort/fitness. If you are not ready to swim the olympic course, swim the sprint course and run/bike the oly course. No one will know or care.
For those who have never done a triathlon, you will not be able to distinguish our set up from a "real" triathlon set up. We have a professional chip timing company to time our event. We also have professional bike racks, SAG support, mechanical support, finisher's chute, and many many other things that you would see at a traditional triathlon.
You can search this forum for all of the positive reviews that we have had in the past. Or, you can go to our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/peasantman) to read reviews from NTPers who have done it in the past. To make your experience more pleasurable, we've removed all negative comments from our Facebook page. Please go to our Facebook page for more details and read up on some of the positive reviews. The people that wrote those comments were in your exact shoes last year.
Registration will be open in February. The propaganda machine will let you know when that occurs. We will give NTPers a $15 discount off regular registration. The first 50 NTPers that register will receive a tech hoodie for cold weather running and a tech shirt for warm summer running.
As I stated during the NTP info session when the question was asked, you are going to have to face live fire at some point. You can use PeasantMan to assess your progress and fitness. You can have your freak out "oh-my-God" moment at your race or you can use PeasantMan to get it out of your system. The difference is, at your "real" race, if they pull you off the swim/bike/run course, your day is over. At PeasantMan, you can simply go back for a second try or continue with the next leg.
Any questions or comments, please feel free to ask. I'm just a simple man with royal pedigree.
number55555 at yahoo dot com
Awesome volunteers are out on every nook & cranny on the course to help you - tons of fun. Afraid of the swim - great time to practice and you can take a rest on my totally fab paddleboard:)
good info Tuan. But I almost lost my morning coffee at one point....
cant wait! -ntper
It's been my experience that PeasantMan is, along with the club's training tris, the best way for newcomers to the sport to learn about triathlon in a race-realistic setting - but without race-day pressure, and with the strong support of over a hundred clubbers on hand. An excellent learning experience and a fun weekend in the countryside. And along with the triathlon, you get an open-water swim clinic and a bike clinic, NTM free bbq & post-tri massages & Georgetown cupcakes. All for a fee far below any other tri event, and all of it going to a children's charity.
We are tentatively scheduled to open up registration on Wednesday, Feb 20, 2013. We obviously would like to do it sooner, but there are 3 PeasantMan War Council members who are still incarcerated. Two more are scheduled to get off of probation on the 19th of February. The bottom line is, when Vietnamese Royalty dares you to run by 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, sans clothing, for a PeasantMan promotional video, don't do it! The law may not have a sense of humor, but it does have a functional taser.
According to USAT (http://www.usatriathlon.org/about-multisport/demographics.aspx), the average annual income of a triathlete is $126,000. At PeasantMan, we realize that it's incredibly tough for you to have such a subsistent existence. After taxes, you're lucky just to be bringing home anywhere near $100k in cash. People say, that's a first world problem. We say, that's a humanitarian problem.
People don't understand the cost of a private nanny, from the Philippines, these days. Furthermore, you take your mistress out to dinner and she wants some fancy smancy dessert, in some foreign language that you can't even pronounce. Doesn't she understand that you have a wife and kids at home? Just once, you would like her to not supersize her meal or god forbid, skip the McSundae dessert.
We know playa gotta play, but $1.50 don't grow on trees. You give her the stare of death while she's ordering, but her public school upbringing leads her to believe that you're just trying to flirt. If you were really trying to flirt, you would say something like ... "boo boo, your figure is too fine for that $1.50 McSundae, so please put it down." The stare of death is the stare of death, period! $126k per year ain't what it used to be. When will our politicians recognize that?
Well, never fear! Your hoochie won't go hungry this year. Your cheapskate ass will be taken care off at PeasantMan. Every single picture that we take will be available for FREE downloading. You will get your swim, bike, run, and finish line pics without charge. You will finally be able to send your children to private school without the financial worries. Simply put, we provide this service for FREE because we understand firsthand how expensive a McSundae eating mistress can be.
Special thanks to Alex N for donating his photography services to us. We know that women are superficial, so we will just state that Alex is a part-time male model, single, and available. It will be hot and sunny during the race. He will be sweaty when taking your pics. You may want to stop to wipe the sweat off his Brazilian waxed chest. That's right, we give you eye candies while you are out on the course doing your thing. For all the dudes out there, no worries. He's as straight as Liberace.
Shameless plug alert:
For further stimulation of the mind, please visit our facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/peasantman
Director, Division of PeasantMan Propaganda
At PeasantMan, we believe that the so call "obesity epidemic" in America is nothing more than CIA propaganda. Well, two can play that game. We have just secured $2,000+ worth of Georgetown Cupcakes for PeasantMan 2013. Needless to say, we have pictures of certain people doing the naughty.
The cupcakes will greet you just as you cross the finish line. You will be dehydrated and in great need of fluids. We will put cupcakes in your hands and tell you it's Gatorade. Why? ... because that's how we roll at PeasantMan.
The cupcakes will range in explosive arrays of flavors and colors. For every person that the CIA tries to skinny-up, we vow to fatten up ten more. America, you shall not go skinny on our watch! We sincerely apologize for putting you in the middle of this firefight. We don't want you to take sides, so please sit down and have a Georgetown Cupcake on us.
On a side note, if you are a CIA agent, please text me. You have my number. I would like to discuss with you as to why it's imperative that a number other than zero show up on my paycheck. It was only funny the first 4 times that you did it. Let's not make it personal by going 5 deep.
On a more serious note, please give these folks your business. They have been generous beyond belief with helping us out over the years.
I can assure you, you very fresh prince of Saigon, that there are many, many "cupcakes" in the CIA.
-- Paula Broadwell
Can't wait to have our first PeasantMan meeting this Thursday! We are going to have an AMAZING event!
To all of the DCTri NTPers who are registering for PeasantMan today, the price that is shown on the registration page is $65, instead of $60. I will refund the first 50 NTPers the $5.
Also, to make up for the glitch, all NTPers, regardless of whether they are in the 50 or not, will get the $5 refund as well as a tech t-shirt and hoodie, if they register TODAY. Tomorrow, everything will be $65 and no goodies.
Check the NTP newsletter for the special registration link.
To everyone else, you didn't see this message :) Your registration will begin tomorrow.
Oh man, I missed the goodies registration :( Fell asleep before registering last night.
Sign up now. I just got the registration number summary. There were more NTPers who signed up within the first 8 hours than all of last year. Already, this year will have more NTPers than in any other years that we've held the event.
I expected more NTPers will come in as the message gets out. If you are an NTPer and have not done so, sign up and join your classmates. The event is flexible enough for you to switch distances on race day if you desire or mix and match distances.
Ok - who was the nice NTPer that I met at Performance this past Saturday? Did you get a bike?
Hope you are doing Peasantman if only to make Tuan happy.
Good luck & Happy Training to all the NTPers out there.
I'm all signed up! Now I just need to know where people are staying so I can book my lodging.
Most people will be staying at Lake Anna. Last year, litterally the entire park was occupied by PeasantMan participants. Below is the lodging info.
You can reserve an on-site spot by either calling Lake Anna or through the below URL. Spots will go quickly since there are many of you and not many spots at Lake Anna. I encourage you to book quickly.
There are three camping options available.
1. Campsite: This is pitching a tent old school. There are restrooms and showers nearby. Each campsite can easily fit 4 tents.
2. Camp Cabin. This is just a cabin with bunk beds. The restrooms with showers are in a different building nearby. It can accommodate 6.
3. 2 bedroom cabin suite. These all are gone but you can periodically check to see if they have any that just became available. That's how I was able to get mine.
All other details about the camping can be found in the URL that I just provided.
Christopher Run Campground - 540-894-4744
About 15 minutes from the race site. Located off of 522 on the Kinetic Half bike course.
Sleep Inn-Located at I-95 and US 1
5400 Southpoint Blvd
Fredericksburg, VA 22407
6409 Dan Bell Lane (Exit 118)
Lake Anna Lodge-(At the lake)
5152 Courthouse Road (Rt. 208)
Spotsylvania, VA 22553
High Point Marina & Lighthouse Inn-(At the lake)
4634 Courthouse Road
Mineral, VA 23117
Shenandoah Crossing Resort
174 HORSESHOE CIRCLE
GORDONSVILLE, VIRGINIA 22942
There are multiple lake houses for rent this time of year.
Lake Anna Realty-800-830-2662
They say you always remember your first........
As a NTP grad, let me say that this is an AWESOME first Tri. The club races are great and also low key, but this will give you a much more realistic introduction to a race -- real transition area (e.g. racks), chip timing, and an open water swim.
Lots of newbies to make you feel comfortable and the veterans/volunteers who participate are really approachable with questions. Perfect race for NTP'ers.
Over 80 NTPers have already registered, and registration just opened several days ago. (Something like 120+ DC Tri members are already in.)
At this rate, the event will be the lead item on Google Trends...
Question... do people bring their family (ie.kids) to things like this? On the registeration I remember a question about will you need childcare. Since my hubby just joined DC Tri it looks we will have to find a few family friends to keep our boys while we engage in all that DC Tri has to offer. However I was wondering if other Tri folk bring their kids to these overnight weekend races/events.
People do bring their family (kids) to triathlons. PeasantMan is no different. From my experience with PeasanntMan, folks who bring children tend to drive there race morning. I don't recall seeing any children in any of the campsites or lodging within the boundaries of Lake Anna State Park. However, that does not mean that they are not staying at one of the nearby hotels.
As far as overnight races, in general, people do bring their children to races that require overnight stays. You will find that the longer the distance, the more likely that people will bring their entire family (children and extended family) and make it a vacation/race. Go to Ironman or half Ironman races and you'll see children everywhere.
PeasantMan Registration URL: