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Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
CREATED: 06/16/10 by dsgrunning REPLIES: 156
dsgrunning's ravatar dsgrunning    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 1296
Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 8:53 AM

Hello Peasant Class Citizens and the people who love your kind,

Now that the kiddies (NTP2010) are being laid to bed, it's time for the adults to come out and play. Vietnamese Royalty (aka The Vietnamese Ricky Suave) is back. That's right I said it ... don't hate the player, hate the game. Are you from Tennessee because you are the only 10 that I see ... etc, etc.

Ok ... enough with the pleasantries. I almost went sterile this past weekend at Eagleman. THE MAN made the swim non-wetsuit legal. I ain't going to lie to you people. If I were a woman, I would have gone into menopause ... hot and cold flashes with a great desire to bitch slap somebody. I could have let the MAN destroy but I didn't. You know why? Because the MAN can't keep me down. I've aqua walked in tougher conditions. My tampons have wings. I AM ROYALTY HEAR ME ROAR!

Anyway, I'm here with a special announcement that will make your pity little lives whole again. I'm starting the Sunday Bike Rides With The Vertical Swimmer again. These rides are perfect for those who are training for a fall IM or HIM. There will be no aquavelo division. Please leave your goggles and wetsuits at home. I know that some of you may think that you look sexy in your wetsuit but this is not that kind of bike ride.

The first ride will be Sunday June 27, 2010. We will ride every Sundays until the last weekend of October. Why? Because I said so. WTF?

The format will be the same as last year. We will go 60, 70, 80, 100 miles then drop back down to 60 and repeat the process. Why no 90 mile rides you asked ? Bite me you ingrates, I reply. The 100 mile rides will always be supported organized rides of some sorts (think Reston Century). I'm also bringing back the Vietnamese Century. That ride will be our first organized century ride of the season. Coincidentally, that will be the last ride before we taper for PeasantMan.

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RIDE FORMAT
============

To those who are unfamiliar with the Sunday Bike Rides with the Vertical Swimmer, we will start off at M Street and Wisconsin Avenue in GTown every Sundays at 7:00 AM (prompt). When I say prompt, I mean prompt ... not the Vietnamese Standard Time (VST) that some folks adhere to.

Last year we had a few people (whose averages were in the 20+ mph range) who raged ahead of the group. We also had a few in the 14-16 mph range who anchored us. I would say that the peleton is in the 17-18 mpg average range.

Although the mileages that we ride are high, there's nothing that says that you can't show up to ride shorter distances so that you can tell your children that you once rubbed elbows with royalty. The main goal is to provide you with structure and a place to go every Sunday mornings. We are triathletes. The Sunday bike ride is our religion. I am your God ... there, I said it.

This is a triathlete ride. It means that all bikes (tri/road/hybrid/banana seat/etc) are welcomed. We are not roadies who sleep with our second cousins. We love our cousins but not in a West Virginia kind of way. We are triathletes who only care if you show up wearing an aero helmet in the middle of summer in DC while climbing hills at 3 mph.

I will send out a mileage schedule for the entire season before the first ride. Cue sheets will also be provided in the days before the actual ride.

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PACE GROUP
===========

We will have the following pace groups. Keep in mind that the below numbers are averages and averages on hilly terrain. The bike Nazis in the Royalty's Group have been known to consistently go 20+ mph on the flats even at the back end of a 70-80 mile bike ride.

Liar's Group
-------------
These are the people who say that they are slow as dirt but averages 20+ mph on a recovery ride. They go up hills faster than I can go down on one. They are probably devil worshipers but who am I to judge the children of Satan. Seriously though, if you can ride this fast on the hills of Poolsville, the Saturday group might be better for you. They will keep you honest with your pace and make better bikers out of you.

Royalty's Group
--------------
These are the people who hang around me, pull me, feed me, name their first born after me, and give me their beverages during the ride. We average somewhere in the 17-18 mph for the rides. I would say that this is the largest group of the ride. Some weeks this is the only pace group during the ride. What can I say ... being Royalty has its privileges.

We sometimes have group hugs while going up hills at 3 mph. There are other times when people act as if I don't exist by trying to drop me on the flats at 20+ mph but things usually averaged out between 17-18 mph. We also stop at gas stations to refuel and use the restrooms ... unlike the Liar's Group who pee on themselves because God forbid if they have to stop and rest.

Introvert Group
----------------
These are the people who really want to go out there to ride with the group but are always afraid of being among faster people. Well, if 99% of you stay home then yes, there will always be faster people out there during the ride. If most of you make a conscious effort to come out every week then there will always be a group for you to ride with. We had a bunch of people who showed up last year who averaged between 14-16 mph.

Don't be intimidated by the mileages, paces, fluff in my words, or my incredible good looks. Have I mentioned that I have incredible good looks? This ride is opened to EVERYONE regardless of level and everyone is encouraged to come. We had a few NTPers last year who joined the ride and went shorter and slower than the Royal group. Chances are that you will find someone in the group who are within eyesight of you during the ride. If not, recruit someone who is in your pace and distance range and come join us. Most of us love our mothers so you will be loved if you show up.

=========
EMAIL ME
=========

If you are interested in riding with us (and when I say "us" I mean me) this year, please either post your email on this forum to pledge your allegiance to me or send me an email at number55555@yahoo.com so that I can add you to the distro list. I will send out weekly cue sheets to the email distro list only. AFTER THIS EMAIL IS SENT, I WILL DELETE THE DISTRO LIST FROM LAST YEAR AND START A NEW ONE. We had too many anti-Christs on the list last year. This year we will sprinkle holly water on their names and remove them from the list.

I had about 150 people on the distro list last year but only 3 regulars who actually showed up. If you take out Monique, my blow up doll, we really only had 2 regulars per ride last year. We need more people to show up to pull me.

I'm training for two Ironman races this year so hopefully I can get other folks who are training for Iron distance races to show up. My "A" race this year will be Ironman Vietnam. My cool down Iron distance race will be Ironman Florida. That's right. I need a V-dot tattoo to complement the M-dot tattoo.

As with everything, there is no cost for any of the rides but you are expected to pull members of the first royal family of Saigon if one happens to be sucking on your wheels ... and believe me, one WILL be sucking on your wheels. Any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to contact me or one of my hoochies.

Tuan
Race Director of Ironman Vietnam and Humanitarian to the Commoners
number55555@yahoo.com

kkaufer's ravatar kkaufer    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 126
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 9:08 AM

Hooy cr*p, Tuan. I just spit up all over my screen from laughing so hard... Anyway, sign me up for escort duty to VN Royalty -- subject to the World Cup schedule, of course. Which reminds, me how come your people aren't there???

kkaufer's ravatar kkaufer    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 126
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 9:10 AM

Hooy cr*p, Tuan. I just spit up all over my screen from laughing so hard... Anyway, sign me up for escort duty to VN Royalty -- subject to the World Cup schedule, of course. Which reminds, me how come your people aren't there???

dsgrunning's ravatar dsgrunning    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 1296
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 9:15 AM

Vietnamese people ... we're good with with child labor camps and re-education camps but surprisingling not so good with recreational sports.

bad ford's ravatar bad ford    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 184
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 9:32 AM

I'm in for realsies this year.

bradford.jordan@navy.mil

younkink's ravatar younkink    JOINED: 7/6/09    POSTS: 24
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 10:05 AM

IN

karen.younkins@gmail.com

rcmagnus's ravatar rcmagnus    JOINED: 1/23/10    POSTS: 43
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 10:06 AM

haha, sign me up!

rcmagnus@gmail.com

DMarie's ravatar DMarie    JOINED: 11/30/09    POSTS: 14
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 11:45 AM

Sounds great! Count me in.

bowen.diana@gmail.com

hppeabody's ravatar hppeabody    JOINED: 9/17/09    POSTS: 193
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 12:04 PM

Tuan, Your Royal Highness,

Is there a standard place that people usually park for this? I'm thinking its mostly all metered around that area..

Thanks,

H

dsgrunning's ravatar dsgrunning    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 1296
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 12:16 PM

Last year parking in GTown was free on Sundays so people just parked in all of the legal parking spaces that are around that neck of the woods (i.e., along sidestreets of Wisconsin or along M Street). You can also park along Canal Street. I'm not sure if the laws have change to where you are now required to pay the meters on Sundays.

If you are worried about whether Sundays are free this year, just park in the neighborhoods at a mile or two from GTown and bike in or wait along the route (which I will mail out weekly) that we take and join the peleton once it passes by. Some people did that last year. The other option for folks coming from VA is to park at Roosevelt Island and bike toward GTown.

I will say that last year the vast majority of folks bike to the meeting spot in the morning from various locations in DC, MD, VA. I bike in from downtown Silver Spring along Beach Drive every Sundays.

Tuan

denaindc's ravatar denaindc    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 148
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 12:52 PM

I'm in

denarichardson@gmail.com

stiefler    JOINED: 6/2/09    POSTS: 35
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 2:04 PM

in...stiefler@gmail.com

mosered's ravatar mosered    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 1751
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 2:45 PM

Sounds like a great way to overtrain for PeasantMan.

savvyveteran@gmail.com

jules    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 110
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 3:08 PM

Count me in! Thanks.

Julie
kennedyjulie2@gmail.com

postie    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 46
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 3:40 PM

please add me to the anchor group...
fenton.rachel@gmail.com

ballstoncyclist's ravatar ballstoncyclist    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 492
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 4:23 PM

I'm in.
alejandro.escobar@yahoo.com

hrumpole    JOINED: 7/20/09    POSTS: 9
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 6:02 PM

Please add me to the distro...
christopher.mohr@gmail.com

trithis73's ravatar trithis73    JOINED: 2/28/09    POSTS: 525
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 8:33 PM

AWESOME!!!! Get to ride with my IM Bud.

Hillary- parking is free on Sunday. Park on the street just past the bank on the left. That is where I parked last year.

SClaremon109    JOINED: 2/25/10    POSTS: 7
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/16/10 10:50 PM

I'm in... steve.claremon@gmail.com

gswiszcza's ravatar gswiszcza    JOINED: 1/27/10    POSTS: 34
RE: Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is BACK!!
POSTED: 6/17/10 7:40 AM

Sign me up for the introverts!

gretchen.s.anderson@gmail.com

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