I'm organizing the first annual Vietnamese Century Ride this Sunday. The group consist of all DCTri folks who have been riding with the Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer on a weekly basis either in theory or in actuality.
Since this is the first All DCTri Century, I thought that I would open it up and recruit folks who don't normally come out and ride with us on Sundays. It's a free ride. Just show up at Wisconsin and M at 7:00 AM on Sunday.
I send out a weekly email to our group. Below is what I sent out this week. It has the cue sheet and details of our ride. Hopefully some of you can make it out for the ride.
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Star Date: Week 5
The first annual Vietnamese Century Bike Ride is this Sunday. We will go old school Viet Cong by promising 100 miles but only delivering 89. This is call the Viet Cong Special. If you have any comments, concerns, or advice, we have set up a re-education camp site to address all of your inquiries. Please stop by at your earliest convenience. We greatly cherish your input and will provide you with a parting gift accordingly.
We also promised that this ride will be a fully supported ride with food and sag vehicles. This of course provides that the sag vehicle is the car that you came with and food being the stuff that you carry on your bike. If you are one of those people that do not own a car, the official Vietnamese Century sag vehicle will look like a Metro bus to you. The bus ride is free if you just climb aboard and tell them that you are with Vietnamese Royalty.
Folks, I'm giving you all a discount. No other century rides on the face of this planet gives you an 11 mile discount. This is truly a once in a lifetime deal. It's something that you can tell your children. Just imagined the inquisitive looks on their faces when you tell them that on that one magical day, in the summer of '09 ... you experienced what it was like to be part of the Vietnamese Royalty Kingdom of Heaven.
THIS WEEK'S RIDE
I'm going to hang back a little bit this week. You all can go do your thing. Please don't wait for me. I've gotten Becky lost for the past couple of weeks with my written in Vietnamese cue sheets. In my defense, in Vietnam if we go on a 80 mile bike ride, we would end up in a re-education camp or as we like to say it back in the motherland ... Hotel Cambodia. No hate mail please :)
This week I shall attempt to prove to Becky that not only are my cue sheets perfect but that women can't follow directions. Women can't drive. Women can't (fill in the blank). And, before I find a head of a dead goat in my bed ... don't hate the playa, hate the game :)
I'm also getting tired of chasing some of you bike Nazis up the hills. Why can't you be like normal people and go up hills at 3 mph instead of the 20+ mph that you've been dishing out ? Do you guys pay taxes ? I bet you don't. How come that every time I catch up to you on the hills, you decide to stand up on the saddle and hammer it out of my line of vision ? I do have feelings you know.
LAST WEEK'S RIDE
Except for Becky, who was visiting Bambi in the forest during the second half of the ride, the group stayed together for the most part. We've become a nice little group. Before the ride, we took pictures, had a group hug, and sung kumbaya together. It was very spiritually and emotionally lifting. This week we may build a bon fire and share our feelings with one another. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the essence of the Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer.
For those of you who starred me straight in the eyes during the happy hour (i.e., Julia) and promised that you would show up ... you missed a great group hug with Vietnamese Royalty. 'Nough said.
For those of you (Step, Karen, Katie the Former first lady tri) who went out last Saturday to ride and sent me pictures afterwards ... don't toy with my emotions like that. I'm already sterile. There not much left and I like to keep that not much for as long as I can.
The Vietnamese Century needs no explanations and is beyond measurements or comprehension. Please print out the cue sheet and take it with you on the ride. It's a little bit more complex this week since the mileage is a lot higher. You don't want to make a wrong turn at Sugarloaf mountain and end up in West Virginia marrying your first cousin ... just saying.
DISCLAIMER: The cue sheet below was provided to me by Becky. You can tell that the directions were written by a type A+++ personality because the mileage is carried out to two decimal places. If this was written by Vietnamese Royalty, it would say something like "make a left turn when you see a water buffalo."
Be forwarned! These directions were written by a woman so I can't guarantee that you won't end up marrying your first cousin. I haven't had a chance to verify the accuracy of the directions because ... hmm, Vietnamese Royalty doesn't do the work of peasants.
As a reminder, we clip at 7:00 AM.
L Reservoir Rd
R MacArthur Blvd
R Falls Rd (@~13.5)
L River Rd (@~15.5)
R Travilah Rd (@~20.7)
L Turkey Foot (@~23)
(stay straight onto Jones Ln at Turkey Foot turn) (@~24)
L Darnestown Rd (Rte 28) (@~25.6)
R White Ground Rd (Rte 121) (@~31)
quick R Clopper
quick L Clarksburg
L Barnesville Rd (Rte 117)(@~36)
R Slidell Rd (@~37.1)
L Comus Rd (Rte 95)(@~40.75)
(turns into Mt. Ephraim Rd)
L Barnesville Rd (@~46.7)
R Beallsville Rd (Rte 109)(@~48.8)
quick R Fisher (107)(@~55)
quick L W. Willard
L River Rd (@~59.5)
(at Seneca intersection, turn R to stay on River (Rte 190))
R Falls Rd (@~73)
L MacArthur Blvd (@~75.1)
L Reservoir Rd (@~86.5)
R Wisconsin (@~88)
Home base @89
FOR THE SILVER SPRING GROUP
The Silver Spring express train will meet 6:20 AM at Picnic Area #10. We'll clip at 6:25 AM. This week in order to attract wild animals as I wait for passengers on the Silver Spring express train, I shall sing karaoke in the parking lot. That's right, a rare sighting. An Asian singing karaoke.
Take care everyone. See you out on the road.
I'm IN and looking forward to it.