Hello People Who Are Still Eating Like It's Thanksgiving,
The Great Successor Kim Jong Un's #1 fan here with a few messages for you.
Let's all gather and occupy Freedom Square in Pyongyang, North Korea together. Let's threaten them with a mass hunger strike. Most importantly, let's not run when they start shooting. Indeed, the pen is mightier than the sword and the bullets.
The Support Tuan Daily (STD) Movement for a Greater America has set a date for the High Cloud PeasantMan 2012. It will be on the weekend prior to Mother's Day weekend. Please put it on your calendar. For all of the mother haters out there ... that's Sunday May 6, 2012.
It will once again be at Lake Anna, Va. I will follow up with an email next month to give you the registration URL. We are tentatively planning to open up registration on Monday Feb 27, 2012. Keep in my that this is based on a Vietnamese lunar calendar so it could be Feb 32, 2012 for all we know. If you have any questions in the meantime, please feel free to drop me an email ... but I reserved the rights to just ignore you. In other words, don't fill my inbox with stupid stuff. I'm on billable hours. My priorities are Amazon.com and craigslist.org.
We've gone high tech this year. Why don't you visit our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/PeasantMan) and click the "like" button. Put some positive comments about your experiences from last year on our wall so that future Peasants can get a flavor of our event.
We will be randomly giving away prizes this year to all those who have "liked" our page. You may luck out with a mail order bride, Specialized bike helmet, or wetsuit. Yours truly will also try to entertain you by posting his observations of the Peasant population on the Facebook page. All of the greatest and latest info will be on there. This event sold out last year within 24 hours, so we will give our Facebook fans a head start on the registration process. When we say head start, we could mean 24 hours or 24 seconds. It all depends on what's on TV that evening.
I would also appreciate a bit of input from you guys. Last year we gave out free PeasantMan pint glasses to all those in attendance. The PeasantMan Council For No Equality would like to know what you would like as your free swag this year. Below are a few ideas that we are discussing among ourselves.
A. Collectible Tuan Bobble Head Action Figure
B. PeasantMan Wine Glass
C. PeasantMan Vibrator
We recognize that the devil worshipers among us already have one of the above items. Thus, we need more options. Please don't send me stupid ideas. Our committee to handle stupid ideas have yet to reconvene.
Chairman, PeasantMan Committee to Handle YOUR Dumb Ass Ideas
I love PeasantMan
Congrats Jeff for being the recipient of the PeasantMan January free giveaway prize. We will give away another prize next week. For those who are interested in what Jeff won or why he posted his unconditional love to PeasantMan, please visit our Facebook page
Jeff ... I sent you a PM
We have just secured $2,000 worth of Georgetown Cupcakes. Every VOLUNTEER and PARTICIPANT at the PeasantMan Compound will receive delicious GTown Cupcakes for FREE! "Give them cakes!" we say. The cupcakes will come in explosive arrays of flavors and colors to incite your taste buds. Their sight and smell will be intoxicating ... so wear a cup! You can't be too safe these days. Let it be known, the Occupy Lake Anna movement takes care of its warriors. Are you Peasant enough to join the revolution?
We are set to open up registration to the general membership late next week. I'll post details once we are ready to release that info.
Most of our NTP allocated slots have been taken. If you are an NTPer, follow the instructions in the special PeasantMan edition of your newsletter and register before all NTP allocated slots are gone.
Besides from the fun aspects of PeasantMan, this event will allow you to gauge how ready you are for your goal DC Triathlon race in June. The open water experience with other swimmers as well as the opportunity to practice your transition setup in a live situation is invaluable. This will be as real as it gets without the pressure of a real race. Use this as a learning opportunity.
Either registration is now open to all, or some spammer just stole $52.99 from me.
Right now it's only open to NTPers. We will open it up to all later on this week. There are only a handful of advanced NTP slots left. Once those are gone, we will open it up to the rest of the club.
Three NTP slots remain. Let's put this puppy to bed folks so that we can feed the rest of the savages known as the DCTri general membership :)
If you get them angry, they will molest you even more during the open water swim. Let's close it out!
All DCTri NTP set aside slots have been sold out. We are now making preparations through our web master to set up the registration page for the general membership. It should be done by today or tomorrow. We will give you the registration link once everything has been set up. The need to sacrafice a virgin water buffalo no longer exists :)
Thank you DCTri NTPers. Bryan Frank may hate you, but I love you all. Don't worry, I will sprinkle holy water on him when I next see him.
If you are a NTPer and still want a slot, act quickly once general registration opens. The DCTri general membership will push over their own grandmothers to get to one of these slots. I often feel dirty after registration opens.
And if you don't get in - come down an volunteer! A Royal Opportunity.
If nothing else, you guys know how to get people excited about this event.
Our subset NTP workout group is stoked for this.
You guys get to hang out with Vietnamese Royalty. Who wouldn't be excited about that?
Tell the rest of that sub NTP group to wear a cup or a chastity belt during the OWS. The DCTri club general membership takes no mercy on anyone once we throw them into the open water. They can smell a NTPer from a mile away. Those savages would whack their own first borns if their own first borns were in their way.
Can't speak for the others... I fear not the OWS!
However, if I hear the Chariots of Fire theme while running I may fall to the ground in the fetal position and play possum till it stops.
Which one of you boys is ready to be "chicked"? LOL, i kid, i kid (no seriously...)