And I am happy to donate more than $5 for each extra shirt as I am sure this doesn't even cover your costs! Great organization and happy to support.
:) Really awesome! We love you!
8 slots left.
The water buffaloes will still be there but the PeasantMan slots won't. Me fellow Americans, stop procrastinating and join the revolution!
The eye candy won me over.
All ... The PeasantMan Triathlon is now officially closed. We have reached our capacity. I want to thank everyone for giving me your money. However, because the race management is corrupt, I can still get you in via community slots. For a limited time and with limited space available, you can still participate by donating $25 to the cause. All money will go charity. For this $25, you will get a slot, a free tech T-shirt, and the Royal four fingers handshake.
If you want to go this route, please contact me offline and I wil give you more info.
40% of our Community Slots are now taken. The Royal 4 finger handshake is in higher demand than I had anticipated. Guys ... you need to act quickly or the only that is in your future is a very hot day out in the rice paddy fields.
If you act now, I might even send you an 8x10 picture of me when I was a baby. A picture of baby Royalty is worth thousands on Ebay. Act quickly.
I love the Royal Family.
Can I buy a water buffalo now?
No cheating Tammy ... the competition hasn't begun yet. Stop giving away the Royal family secrets
Tammy - you just escaped from Alcatraz. You can steal a water buffalo!
If I can't buy a water buffalo, can I borrow a helper monkey to unpack my suitcase and tri bag?
I love the Royal Family.
Now can I have a water buffalo?
i love the royal family!! can i have my best buy gift certificate now!? :)
dammit, i just read the next sentence.
w...t...f... ? Now close your eyes and imagine the Vietnamese one finger salute.
The Vietnamese soap opera is between 10:00AM - 11:59AM. The event does not start until BaLoung tells MyLan and he's Cambodian.
Now you've got the entire club wondering what the heck you are talking about.
I repeat ... WTF?
If Lawrence is in London where it is already noon and posts about our undying love for the Royal Family now, does that count? Because there are not time, space, or distance limitations on our love for the Royal Family.
Sorry Michelle but I'll have let the Queen of England take care of the people on her soil. The Freshest Prince of Saigon has a very comfy lifestyle. He wishes to declare war on no one.
I love the Royal Family!
- jen yager
I have an unnatural PeasantMan-crush on the Royal Family and want my technical upgrade Water Buffalo.
WOHOO!!! My little mentee is the victor!!! Congrats Jen. I will contact you shortly for your prize.
Just in case you all are wondering why all of these folks are professing their love to the Royal family, below is the email that I sent out to the folks who have registered for PeasantMan. The only difference with what's in the below text and reality is that we are now **SOLD OUT** on the community slots.
PEASANTMAN TRIATHLON MAY UPDATE
Good Morning Peasant Class Citizens,
His High Royalness and PeasantMan race director Extraordinaire here with a special announcement. The PeasantMan Triathlon is now officially closed. We have reached our capacity. However, because the PeasantMan race management is run by a corrupt Vietnamese, I can still get some of you in via community slots. For a limited time and with limited space available, you can still participate by donating $25 to the cause. All monies will go to charity (High Cloud Foundation). For this $25, you will get a slot, a free tech T-shirt, and the Royal four finger handshake. As a special bonus, you will also be able to rack your bike next to mine. [DISCLAIMER: There will be no event day bike racks]. If you know anyone who wants to go this route, please contact me offline and I will give you more info.
I want to thank everyone for giving me your money. I want to thank all you men in the group for withholding that second appetizer from your dates with the hoochies so that you can have some left over money for this event.
I especially want to thank all you women for showing great restraints by withholding that $5 bill from your favorite Chippendale entertainer/baby daddy. It's a good humanitarian decision on your part. Those dudes have no pockets nor body glide. Stuffing money down their spandex will only cause chaffing.
I know many of you are looking for specific info about this race (i.e., time, course descriptions, open water swim clinic, and etc). I will send out the PeasantMan athlete's guide once the race date gets closer. If I give it to you now, you will loose it and you will email me to disturb me while I'm watching my Vietnamese daytime soap opera. Trust me, you don't want to be in a situation where I'm giving you the Vietnamese one finger salute over the Internet. It is better for everyone involved if I do it this way.
For all of the type A personalities out there who can't wait ... I hear that type B is where it's at this year.
A HISTORY LESSON
For those of you who have signed up for this race late and have no idea what to make of this email or any of my previous emails, let me just state for the record that opium is no longer my drug of choice. I can tell you what my drug du jour is but you will just be judgmental and condescending. I don't really blame you. You can't help it ... you probably went to public school.
I've been looking over the PeasantMan roster and have noticed that about 70% of the registrants are from the DCTri Club and 30% are from the general public. I'm not sure how the 30% found us but apparently the CIA is not the only federal agency that is trying to screw with me. If being a Vietnamese is a federal crime then somebody needs to go out there and arrest all the Cambodians. Don't even get me started on the Lao.
Anyway, I want to give our 30% friends a lesson on the history/background of the PeasantMan Triathlon. I want you to understand what you are getting yourselves into so that there will be no misunderstandings come event day. We are going to have sag vehicle support, course sweepers, bike mechanics, kayakers, food, beverages, massage therapist, medical support by medical professionals (i.e., MDs and others), and a few other things. However, I don't want folks to be under the false impressions that their $5 registration fees will give them bike racks, police closing down roads, timing chips, and USAT officials monitoring the course for rules violations. It's a $5 event folks.
Besides PeasantMan, what else can you get for $5 these days? Do you know what would happen these days if you give a stripper $5? She would look at you with a straight face and say "hey playa, the ATM machine is over there!". At PeasantMan, that $5 gives you exclusive access to the Future King of Vietnam ... so be grateful.
This event is designed to be a fun training day without the pressures of a competitive atmosphere. If you want hard core racing, sign up for an Ironman. If you want to be a bum, just hang loose, and have a little fun, sign up for PeasantMan.
To get a flavor for this event, read up on it in the DCTri Club forum (http://www.dctriclub.com/forum/messages.cfm?tid=D063F304-9E10-5997-05E267632726FF2A&&page=1). Please read the entire thread because I've added more stuff since the initial posting. Just remember that for $5 you are getting the PeasantMan experience not the Ironman experience. For the Ironman experience, please make a check out to my name for $576.
Although this event will be heavily attended by members of DCTri, this is NOT a DCTri Club event. This is a Vietnamese event organized by a Vietnamese for all the non-Cambodians out there. 30% of the participants are non-DCTri members and probably have never heard of DCTri prior to today. It's just so happens that this event is organized by some DCTri Club members. Hence by default, we've pulled in quite a few of our fellow DCTri Club friends. I don't want our 30% friends to think or feel like they are crashing a party once event day arrives.
I just want everyone to realize that this is a fun training day for EVERYONE that includes swim, bike, run, food, and lots of socializing. There will be folks there with little or no tri experience and there will be folks there who have an Ironman race or two under their belts. The range in speed and experience will be across the board. The goal is to foster the advancement of the sport and the community within it.
To show you that I'm not heartless or soulless, if after reading the thread in the DCTri forum you still want your $5 back, please click here for a full refund --->> REFUND.
If you want to file a complaint with the race director of PeasantMan, please click here to fill out a complaint form ---> COMPLAINT.
Again, for our 30% friends: For this one time only, if you register with DCTri and donate $35 (http://www.dctriclub.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=Shop.welcome) to their general fund, you will get a free annual membership that's worth thousands. Membership will get you access to free swags, three annual duathlons, three annual practice tris, and 2-3 swim meets. All of which, unlike PeasantMan, are exclusively for DCTri members only and are only $5 each. If you are fast enough, the club will sponsor you and give you stipends to attend other national triathlon events. DCTri also boasts a membership that is among the largest in the United States.
There are other activities that you will get access to that are not officially part of DCTri but are cheap (or free) and heavily attended by club members. These include not but limited to PeasantMan, Ironman Vietnam, and the Vietnamese Century ride. If you have never lost a testicle while climbing a hill then you obviously have never ridden Viet Cong Hill on the Vietnamese Century bike course.
DCTri has people who are pros as well as folks who's definition of success is beating the cutoff by 1 second. They have people who would rather pee on themselves than loose 30 seconds on the bike and they have people who treat the port-a-johns like it's the bathroom in their master bedroom. Its current president is a woman who was once a runway fashion model in Paris, Milan, and other cities that I don't know how to spell. She is a striking handsome woman who is an Ironman and who credits her success at the Iron distance to the disciplines that she learned while on the runways across Europe. Other tri clubs boast felons, DCTri boasts a runway fashion model and a token Vietnamese.
Think about it. For $35 annually, you will have access to training opportunities, cheap practice races, a former runway fashion model, and the privilege of being around a man who one day will be the King of Vietnam. If you support me now, I will resort to cronyism and give you jobs in the Royal Castle later. It's a win-win situation all the way around. If that's not enough then all that I have to say is that you need change your ganja supplier. For more info ... and when I say more info, I don't mean ganja info ... check out http://www.dctriclub.com/
Simply put, without High Cloud (http://www.highcloud.org/) there would be no PeasantMan. They have provided us with more support than I can ever list. We are talking logistical, financial, planning, food, and much much more. Without High Cloud, on race day your post race meal would consist of what we refer to back in 'Nam as the Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dinner Special ... i.e., air. Your fluids would come straight out of the Mekong. We call that the Viet Cong Celebratory Beer. You can bitch and complain about it to "uncle" Quang but that would only get you a good ol fashion bitch slapping by "aunty" MaiHuong for not eating or drinking enough of it.
High Cloud does some really wonderful work to help children and families in impoverished nations across the planet. Please visit their web page and consider making a donation to them to further support their great work. Any donations that you make to them, no matter the amount would go a long way. To donate, please go to http://www.active.com/donate/highcloud
This is the mission statement of High Cloud:
At High Cloud, our vision is to help alleviate world poverty for the vulnerable among us - children, orphans, families and mothers who are victims of violence or natural disasters occurring throughout the world. The High Cloud Foundation has ongoing Humanitarian Activities in countries such as: Brazil, Peru, Ecuador, Colombia, Macedonia, Nigeria, the Middle East, Kenya, India, among others.
Congrats to Rebecca Williams for being the recipient of the PeasantMan free one week wetsuit rental giveaway last month. She will now float like a raft at whatever event that she chooses to participate in.
This month the prize will be a free $40 Best Buy gift certificate. They don't sell water buffaloes at Best Buy so I have no idea what you would spend that $40 on. Nevertheless, the first person to profess his/her love for the Royal family will get it. Just post your FIRST AND LAST NAME on this thread http://www.dctriclub.com/forum/messages.cfm?tid=D063F304-9E10-5997-05E267632726FF2A&&page=1 along with your professed love for the royal family and it's yours. I need your name so that I can verify it against the PeasantMan roster. Make sure that you profess your love so that I know that you are responding to this email and not to some other stuff on that thread. To be fare, the prize will be given to the first post after 12:00 PM (noon) TODAY. Your post has to come in at that time or later. If the timestamp on the thread is one minute earlier then it does not count. Unlike the last time, this is opened to everyone who has registered for PeasantMan and not just the NTPers.
It's time to give some props to some of the organizations that have agreed to help us out. Enclosed is a flyer telling you a little bit more about PeasantMan as well as the people that will be helping us out. some of you may not have seen the flyer before. Below is a list (a few more will be added later) of organizations that are helping us out but the attached flyer is a lot more sexy.
**** TOTALLY SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT *****
DSG Running (http://www.dsgrunning.com) --> Simply put, the best running club in America. It is a free marathon training club in DC that I founded for sexy single people with money. That's SEXY AND SINGLE AND WITH MONEY! In other words, you cannot join. It's called the Divorce Support Group (DSG) ... and no, it's not what it sounds like. If you know me and my sense of humor then you will appreciate why it's called the Divorce Support Group. The vast majority of the people in the group are single and never married ... but why am I even explaining this to Peasants?
****** Plug over ******
Here are the other organizations that are helping us out:
Mario's Pizza House
Georgetown running Company
Dick's Sporting Goods
Great American Restaurant
Tuan, A Humanitarian.
Tuan, I tried to register on Active.com and it says the event is full. Do you know if there is another way to register. Thanks - Sam