***** UPDATE: Ride is over for the 2012 season *******
SUNDAY BIKE RIDE WITH THE VERTICAL SWIMMER
Year #4 - Return of the Ingrates
Star Date: Week 0
The Sunday Bike Ride with the Vertical Swimmer is back.
Don't ask any stupid questions.
Don't be a smartass.
And, if you are single living in the Clarendon/Ballston/Court House area, don't be anywhere near holy water. You have been warned!
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "it's about damn time!" Well ingrates, BITE ME!
Same rules as last year. On any given Sunday, you will come and you will pull me. Don't give me the finger. Don't speak underneath your breath. Don't give me the stare of death. It won't do you any good. I have no shame. If your grandmother was out there, I'd suck on her wheels just as hard as I'd suck on yours. Resistance is futile! Accept your fate and we will co-exist just fine. Bitch and whine and it'll just make me want to suck on your wheels even more ... references available upon request.
The first ride shall begin on Sunday April 8, 2012. The last shall be Sunday August 04, 2012. The rest of the schedule are posted at the bottom of this post. This is subject to change. The most up to date schedule will always be in the weekly emails that I send out.
As always, we will commence at 7 AM at the corner of M and Wisconsin in GTown. There is free parking all of GTown on Sundays. More details about the first ride will come in the weekly email, so don't send me emails asking me stupid questions. Don't make me sprinkle holy water on you!
For those who are unfamiliar with this world renowned ride with the Freshest Prince of Saigon, this is a FREE triathlete ride that does not discriminate on the type of bikes you have. Bring your tricycle if you want. We only have two rules on this ride:
1. wear a helmet
2. wear a cup
These **ARE** dropped rides. This means that we are not going to be holding hands and sing kumbya while waiting for the group to gather before proceeding. If you show up, make sure that you find a good group of people to hang with within our group. You do not have to go the entire distance with the group. Go the distance that you are comfortable with and turn back. The rides will encounter lots of hills. You may even be sterile before the first ride is over, so again, please wear a cup.
The mileage varies from week to week, but we will be in the 60-120 mile range. All cue sheets will be provided free of charge ... because I care. I'm a care-er! The world needs more people like me and less people like you.
From past experiences, the paces for this ride varies from week to week. It depends on who shows up. Generally speaking, the biggest group is in the 17-19ish mph. This is the average for the ride. This means that on the flats the pace can be a bit spectacular. On the hills, there will lots of tears shed. Keep in mind that these averages are on roads with pretty decent hills. I've left parts of my soul on many of these hills.
We do have people who are in the 15 mph+ range. We have had NTPers in the past who have come to ride with the group at the beginning, but drop off and ride for shorter distances. We've also had people in the way north side 20+ mph.
We all start together, but the group will break into its natural paces once we leave DC. The groups will stop occasional to refuel and use the restrooms at various locations. These locations will be specified in the cue sheets that I will send out.
This ride is a very welcoming ride. We have folks of all levels and speeds who show up on any given Sunday. Everyone will be loved. No one will judge your full aero-kit. Oh, who am I kidding. If you show up in full aero-kit, of course we are going to judge your dumb ass.
To be part of this ride, just send me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) or post below. I will add you to our distro list. **Everyone** from the 2011 list need to resend me an email. The 2011 email distro list will be destroyed after today. If you are new, please drop me an email expressing interests or simply post below.
By the way, have you heard of this race call PeasantMan? We are going to have a 56-112 mile ride at Lake Anna on the Kinetic course the day before PeasantMan, so you might as well sign up for it.
THE ENTIRE SCHEDULE
Although the first ride officially begins April 8, I may feel generous and have a Vietnamese only ride on April 1. Weather and how generous I feel will be the deciding factor.
Apr 28 (Saturday) - Columbia BricNic
May 05 - PeasantMan Century
1-2x Kinetic bike course
Possible ride on the Eagleman course
Aug 05 -- Last ride of the season
Now back to what I do best ... Amazon.com on billable hours.
Tuan - I'm so pretty, it hurts
Tuan - a couple of questions.
Did you know that you are starting on Easter Sunday? Also, it's Sunday, August 5th the last day (my b-day). Are you going to be doing any of these famous rides on the Eagleman course? Are OWS going to be incorporated into these rides?
Hugh ... we'll start on Sunday April 1 then. Hate to have lightning strike the only functioning testicle that I have left.
I might make Sunday May 13 an Eagleman ride. I'll take a poll later on. If enough type-A people want to do it, we'll do it.
Don't insult me with the OWS crap.
A chance to ride with royalty! ::Swoooooon::
Please add me to the distro list ... and if royalty would allow a request to change the Eagleman ride to be the following week for those going to San Diego? Pllllleeeeaaase oh mighty one!
Forgot about San Diego. The Eagleman ride will be the week after. It will be on May 20th
Also forgot to mention, leave your email address here if you want me to add you to the list ... or email it to me. I don't work for the MAN, so I have no way of getting your email address from your username.
Please include me. I might actually make it for some rides this season.
Include me on group distro emails Tuan - thanks!
Include me in please!
Please add me to the list!
Please add me to the list!
I've been anticipating this wonderful moment since the end of 2011.
pmart15 at yahoo dot com
Tuan - if we get a group to head over to the EM course, we would easily stop at Sandy Point for a swim. Or are you banned from there?
Please add me to the list as well!
Yeah... Pls keep me in the loop! Have to follow your Copenhagen Challenge preps and get some long rides in...
ksl at mil dot dk
Please add me to the list, thanks! Adrianne
Please add me to the list!
I'm game to start 4/1! I've already spent the last few weekends out there and look forward to the first few minutes of riding with a group before getting dropped (which is all part of my riding strategy, honest!)
For those of you who prefer to ride more conservatively, i.e., flattening hills, I'll be leading the way... and more likely than not, will try to do a brick run post ride each week after loading my bike into my trunk.
For other back of the packers/fearing to be dropped and riding alone, I can vouch for the cue sheets... as I had a hand in making most of them after spending many a Sunday morning playing with bambi and other woodland creatures when Tuan's cue sheets led me astray.
FWIW, I'm also down with an Easter Sun ride... IM training is what it is. I'm sure I'll be doing my share of praying on those hills. Besides, a nice brick will make all the chocolate bunnies so much more worthwhile later that afternoon.
Hugh, I just ordered a neoprene cap... when that comes you let me know and I'm down for trips to Sandy Point. Shudder... CDA is gonna be flippin cold.
Billable comedy writing; in.
But, has Vietnam converted to an English mile distance system? The 90-mile "Vietnamese Centuries" of yore appear to now conform to the standard 100-mile century ride.
Now that I'm no longer NTP, I can admit that I've lost a testicle or two and participate on this ride.