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Ed Moser {April 2008}

In this "April Fools" edition of DC Tri's Triathlete of the Month, we'd like to introduce you to the 2007 winner of DC Tri's President's Award and resident satirist, Ed Moser. Ed has been a pillar of DC Tri since the early days and his support only grows every year. He shares with us stories of the perfect pre-race meal, being the voice behind former presidents, and the day he made his "biggest splash".

Where's home for you? How did your homeland/family help shape your future tri career?
Ed hails from that epicenter of triathlon, the central Bronx. In his youth Ed honed running skills by dodging pickpockets and sprinting ahead of muggers. Upper-body strength was built during brawls between rival ethnic gangs. Immunity to disease was boosted through dips in the detritus-strewn East River.
His athletic father was once offered a Triple A contract to play shortstop for the NY Yankees; sadly, Ed inherited none of his talent. His granddad was a bricklaying mason at Yankee Stadium, where he engaged in a Masonic conspiracy to deny the Red Sox a title for 86 years.
His first competitive races were swims at a beach club in Long Island Sound. High school brought cross-country contests through the cow paths of the bucolic (for the Bronx) Van Cortlandt Park. The one race he ever won was a 5K there, fueled by a corned beef hash breakfast which was recycled on hitting the tape. (This is in the days before goo and G'ade, when racers protein-loaded before events.) During family summers at Seaside Heights, New Jersey, he'd train by jogging on the sun-drenched beach the 30 miles to Asbury Park and back, composing songs en route like "Blinded by the Light" and "Born to Run" for a young local songwriter.
In college he and a friend once speed-walked from their Albany, NY campus to Vermont's Green Mts, and back, the 50-mile jaunt still his longest event. Astonishingly, he returned to Albany, instead of just continuing to walk away.

How did you get started in triathlon and how long have you been apart of DC Tri?
After school came a long period of fun team sports, as opposed to grueling, tedious tri stuff, before the early Zeds brought a resurgence of long-distance action. In 01/02 he joined about 12 others in a fledgling local tri club. He teamed up with DCT's original Webmaster, John Zastrow, to do their first, unofficial Olympic together. After a mile in a Rosslyn apartment pool, they headed down the Mt. Vernon trail in humid 90-degree heat sans water. Z got heatstroke; Ed finished but then collapsed under a tree, and counted Zs. Ed reprised his performance at the record heat of the 2003 Columbia tri, where on finishing he collapsed under a tree which sheltered a clutch of poison oak. His illustrious tri career was underway.

When you're not training, what pays the bills?
As he is too hyper to hold a permanent job, and refuses Ritalin, Ed works as a freelance writer.

Rumor has it, you've been the voice behind former presidents, and late-night talk show hosts?
The Forrest Gump of his profession (with a running ability akin to the young Forrest), he has labored for the sundry likes of The Tonight Show, at a time when Jay Leno was seemingly recruiting writers by random; the firm that sequenced the human genome, where he was a guinea pig for an EPO gene that was supposed to enable breathing underwater, but only gave him water on the brain; and as a White House speechwriter (the overwhelming political inclination of this area prevents him from saying for which president, tho his son became president too).

What keeps you training year after year?
Given Ed's stubborn reluctance to rest, and penchant for destructive, post-race swoons, his knees have more scarring than a Rodeo Drive starlet. Thus he's focusing now on aquavelo, the swim and bike minus the pounding run, a fitting race for the over-the-hill set.

Favorite triathlon memory?
Ed's biggest splash may have come in the the '05 Lake Anna Half Ironman. Halfway through the swim, his goggles fogged up badly. At the turnaround buoy, he barely made out a group of swimmers, and took off in their direction. After a half mile, he heard a blaring noise, which turned out to be the loudspeaker of the police boat, informing him he had been stroking in the wrong direction. (The swimmers he followed had been coming FROM the shore, not TOWARD it.) Tho exhausted, he evidently set the record for a 2.2-mile distance of a 1.2-mile swim.

What races are on the horizon for 2008 and what are your goals?
ChesapeakeMan aquavelo is in his sun-tinted sights for '08, along with the Civil War Century, the Lake McDonnell swim, a New Jersey Tri relay, and, in the constant pursuit of another swoon, the 24 Hours of Booty bike ride.

Thanks, Ed!