DC Triathlon Club Changes Name

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    Interesting story that emerged after the annual meeting–


    Tri News. Boulder, Colorado.

    December 22, 2017–After months of debate, and 15 years of existence, the nation’s third-largest multisport club has decided to alter its moniker, one of the best-known in the endurance sports world.

    To boost membership, revenues, and the organization’s standing, the DC Triathlon Club has changed its name to the DC Cryptocurrency Club. This follows a trend where many enterprises with no connection to the Bitcoin craze have switched their names. This week, Long Island Iced Tea became officially known as Long Island Blockchain, and the stock price of the unprofitable drink maker soared 290 percent.

    “After our announcement, paid membership shot up threefold,” noted club officer Paul Towers. “We went from 700 members to 2,100.

    “If this keeps up, DC Cry should pass San Diego and Los Angeles as the country’s biggest tri club.”

    The tri club paired its name change with a stock IPO. Listed in Nasdaq under the symbol TRIBIT, shares of the DC Cryptocurrency Club skied from an initial offering price of $100 to $54,658, as of Wall Street’s December 21 closing bell. Club members will received dividends and stock buybacks from TRI, and some board members will retire to the Cayman Islands.

    Indeed, in the wake of the switch, the DC Cry Club’s financial status is rock-solid.

    “Our coffers are overflowing,” stated club treasurer Kim Goldbug. “And we’re slashing costs by conducting all our financial transactions, like the purchase of uniforms, through a peer-to-peer network with minimal transaction fees.

    “We’re doing so well,” added club secretary Kyoko Kyrpto, “that we plan to make all club events free and slash membership dues in half, and still pull in more revenues than ever.”

    One glitch has emerged. Several board members trying to sell valuable shares of their cryptomoney have been stymied, after forgetting the PIN number to their ultra-secure network.


    Copyright © 2017 Faux News Ink.


    How will be listed on the NYSE? DCCC?

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