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- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 4 months ago by DC Tri Club President.
December 21, 2019 at 12:12 pm #30026moseredParticipant
The dc tri club President was impeached today, by the club’s board, meeting in congress. The articles of impeachment accuse the President of putting undue pressure on Ironman Ukraine for such favors as free race entries. Further, the impeachment alleges that Vlad “the Poisoner” Putin, president of Ironman Moscow, hacked into the club website to spread fake news that aided the club President’s election.
In a tweetstorm, the club President denounced the allegations as trumped up, and based on a now-debunked cynthia Steele dossier. The Steele dossier had alleged the club President, during a junket to Provence, France, engaged in a lot of illicit hanky-panky, even doing the can-can in Cannes.
It has emerged, however, that the dossier was financed by a rival for the club’s presidency, Hillary peabody, a long-term manager of the Wednesday track workouts. (Hillary’s husband’s Bill was the last club President to be impeached, after he was caught engaging in hanky-panky with a club intern.) Hillary’s son Hunter, meantime, has been accused of accepting $50,000 worth of energy gels from Ironman Ukraine, as well as free Chicken Kievs at the post-race buffet.
Dc tri’s current President has been controversial since his narrow election win. He lost the popular vote among club members, overwhelmingly so in the heavily urban District of Columbia, while carrying the vote of clubbers in the more rural Virginia and Maryland state chapters. By winning those two states, the President won the club’s Electoral College by a narrow tally of 2 to 1. It’s been alleged he was helped in Maryland by organized crime, notably the “Moco Mafia” mobsters of Montgomery County.
The controversial election and impeachment are setting up a wild club election for 2020, and a bidding war for votes. One announced candidate has called for NTPers as young as 11 to be allowed to vote. Another candidate has backed free Peletons for female clubbers, although others have denounced this as sexist. In another bow to the women’s vote, some vying for the presidency have demanded changing the name of the Masters swim program to the Mistresses swim program, though others see this as undermining the MeToo movement.
Former club President for Life paul Ryan trolled on social media that “this whole mess could have been avoided if I’d been kept on as President for Life, as a benign dictator.” Ryan also called for reform of the Electoral College, stating that “given its importance, it should at least be upgraded to the Electoral University.”
In a late-breaking development, IronMan czar Vlad Putin has acquired IronMan Crimea, after parking 500 tanks on its bike course. Vlad has also asked fellow Russian Sergie Maximomentum to set up an IronMan Stalingrad, to be held in mid-winter on a frozen river and minefield, with bottles of Stolichnaya as the recovery drink.
Political wrangling within the Dc tri club, meantime, has impelled it to change its motto to, “We’re Tri Partisans.”January 1, 2020 at 4:41 pm #30208Adam SulewskiParticipant
Shocking! Scandal! 😉January 4, 2020 at 5:36 pm #30301DC Tri Club PresidentParticipant
As hard as I work, & as successful as our Club has become with our Programs, our Races & everything else, it is ashame that Steele makes us spend so much time & money on this ridiculous Impeachment Lite Hoax. I should be able to devote all of my time to the REAL DCTRI!
Steele gives us the most unfair trial in the history of the U.S. Congress, and now she is crying for fairness in the Senate, and breaking all rules while doing so. She lost Congress once, she will do it again!
Crazy Steele wants to dictate terms on the Impeachment Hoax to the Republican Majority Senate, but striped away all Due Process, no lawyers or witnesses, on the Democrat Majority House. The Dems just wish it would all end. Their case is dead, their poll numbers are horrendous!
Steele is looking for a Quid Pro Quo with the Senate. Why aren’t we Impeaching her?
Okay… I can’t scroll through any more of his tweets to alter… that was painful… 😛